There are key experiences that we, as parents and educators, can provide for our children that invite their soul, or heart, to be part of their total learning. Rachael Kessler wrote about these strategies, or seven gateways, in her book THE SOUL OF EDUCATION. The seventh gateway is "The Need for Initiation - honoring our children's developmental milestones."
Kessler says, "This deals with rites of passage for the young--guiding adolescents to become more conscious about the irrevocable transition from childhood to adulthood. Meeting this need for initiation often involves ceremonies with parents and faculty that welcome them into the community of adults.
The developmental milestones for younger children also need acknowledgement. Important events include transitioning from preschool to elementary, the "firsts' in developments, such as riding a bike, writing one's name, tying shoelaces, and accomplishments and performances in sports, music, dance, art, and drama.
There is also a major transition in all areas of development for those in middle childhood approaching puberty. During the transition from childhood to the onset of adolescence, puberty with its biological change also brings other physiological changes with the psychological ramifications as well. These include opportunities for growth in cognitive and social competencies, self-esteem, and intimacy (Papalia et al., 2006) Sometimes feelings of uncertainty, loneliness and isolation accompany this transition because this is also a time of searching for one's identity and one's place in the world. West African educator, Malidoma Soma, cited "A crisis of identity and purpose is an inner burning...It is a hollowness, a void, that threatens to erase meaning in everything people do (1997).
Initiation and ritual are important to mark this transition and provide understanding, guidance, and community to support the multitude of changes that are occurring. However, Kessler states, "the community that once allowed time and mentoring during initiation, and the rituals that once enfolded the individual into a group have undergone tremendous change." Our lives have become so busy that we often miss opportunities for providing these experiences.
In his book, FINE YOUNG MAN, Michael Gurian (1998) noted how young boys starting adolescence, need a clan of caregiving personnel to help him through the "second birth" and into adult masculature--the core self by which he will not only survive in adult life but flourish with passion and dignity (p. 70). Mary Pipher, in her book, REVIVING OPHELIA (1994), emphasized how girls today need loving guidance from family and friends to learn respect for their own uniqueness, and helping them find their "North Star," their sense of who they truly are (p. 154).
Here at MPI, two of the school-based programs for children transitioning from elementary to middle school include cross mentoring, where those in the fifth grade pair up with someone in the middle school to ask questions and share ideas, and an overnight organized camp experience. The "Leave Taking" ceremony at the end of the school year provides a time for recognizing the personal gifts of each of our fifth graders. The guidance of a special adult mentor, providing friendship and guidance, is also a crucial element for the youth at this stage of development.
Honoring children's developmental milestones and allowing time for initiations in the middle childhood years allows for the heart and soul to be recognized. Providing meaningful experiences that support the many changes occurring for each child, fulfills a need to bring meaning and purpose to one's life.
Shirley Rivera
CE/ Counseling
Mid-Pacific Institute Elementary
Posted on April 26, 2010 3:55 PM | Permalink